Hello, all. I just wanted to let you know that I have moved on to a new blog. You can catch me at
www.chocolatephoenix.wordpress.com
I'll spare you the reasons why, as most of you already know I have moved. Change your links, because I have everything imported and it won't be long before I completely get rid of this blog. My Universe will be gone! :)
Thanks for the fun times, Blogger. It's time for me to move on and start something new.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Try Saying That 10 Times Fast!
 | My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Reverend Lady Sariah the Festive of Biggleswade by Biscuit Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Winter Guard
I was thinking that most of you guys don't actually know what a winter guard is. Because it is my job right now, and I'm bound to be talking about it a lot, I wanted to share with you what it is I'll be doing. It's a lot of fun. Definitely a lot of hard work, but a lot of fun, too. I'm lucky to be working with a great group of kids. There is no drama (yet) and they are all hard workers.
This video that I'm sharing is of a really talented group out of Florida. Their name is Paradigm. They aren't a high school group, rather a community group that uses kids from the area. This was their 2005 show. I LOVE this show. Hope you guys enjoy it, too.
This video that I'm sharing is of a really talented group out of Florida. Their name is Paradigm. They aren't a high school group, rather a community group that uses kids from the area. This was their 2005 show. I LOVE this show. Hope you guys enjoy it, too.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Random Friday
I love it when it rains. Which it is doing right now. It's light outside, but not too bright. Some may say it's dark and gloomy, but I like it this way. The temperature has dropped a little. It's not cold, but it's definitely cool. I changed back into my soft pajama pants, so I'm very comfortable right now. I'm wearing a light-weight, long-sleeved shirt, and it feels perfect. As I listen to the sound of the rain hitting pavement, the window, and the roof, I sit here with a cup of warm hot chocolate. Parker is asleep, Aiden is at school, Ches is at work, and Dallin is watching "Go Diego, Go!". It is very relaxing right now. I wish it could stay exactly like this forever!
*****
I'm sure that we all know I can't sew, right? I come by it honestly, growing up with a mother that very often, and very proudly, stated "Sew is not in my vocabulary!" I have tried to learn to sew. I had visions of making my own dresses for prom, doing my own alterations, making clothes for my kids someday, making pillows and quilts and stuffed animals and curtains and pot holders... whatever I could think of.
I seem to have some kind of sewing machine deficiency, however. If I have "adult supervision", I do just fine. Whenever I'm alone with a machine, however, problems happen. On every single machine I have ever tried to use. I break the needle. The tension is wrong and my fabric is puckering. The thread wraps around the bobbin casing. My fabric gets sucked into the machine as if it wants to join the bobbin.
I get frustrated and end up yelling at both the machine and myself. It's not a pretty sight.
Mr. Universe has had some clothes that he needed mending. I would laugh and say, "Put it in the mending box!" I would laugh because whenever my mom said that to us as we grew up, we knew we would never again see that article of clothing. They never got mended. (Well, if we had a hole in the knee of our jeans, we got patches. But they were iron-on patches, so I don't think that really counts!)
Mr. Universe has been asking me and asking me to mend his clothes. He wants to wear the two hoodies! Those are his favorite school pants! So on Monday I pulled out the sewing machine and said "I can do this."
After about 45 minutes of frustration and hitting the table and yelling (no swearing because I do have young children nearby. Although yes, I got in trouble from Aiden for saying "stupid" a lot), I did it. I conquered my sewing machine and was able to fix his clothes!! I feel like a rock star!!
Now, if I can just figure out how to get the stain out of his favorite dress shirt...
*****
Wednesday was Winter Guard rehearsal. I was meeting most of the kids for the first time. Things were going great. We had worked out a bit and done some yoga. We were about to start on some flag fundamentals, but I wanted to lay down some ground rules and talk about our schedule for the season. The kids were all sitting on the floor and I was in a chair (I felt like it was story time and I was going to read to them). Just as I started talking about stuff, I shifted my weight and... I farted. Not too loudly, but loud enough.
I. Was. So. Mortified. Seriously.
The kids all laughed (as did I) and kept saying it's no big deal, but I know my face went really, really red. What a way to make a first impression, huh? Oh well. We now consider ourselves quite bonded.
*****
Speaking of embarassing...
Yesterday I was chatting online with Lo and we were playing Literati. Just as she put up her "superstar" word, waft, I fell off my chair. Seriously. I just fell. I mean, I was shifting my weight again (I'm starting to think this is a bad thing for me to do!) when I lost my balance and there I went.
Mr. Universe came home just a few minutes later. I told him what happened, and he started to laugh. "Only you," he said. "Only you."
*****
I just finished reading The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella. (She wrote the Confessions of a Shopoholic books that I loved so much). This was another delightful story. Light reading, but not so light you feel like you're wasting your brain by reading it. Chick lit, yes, but I seem to be into that these days.
The story is about this young, high-powered, London lawyer named Samanatha who makes a mistake and essentially freaks out. She gets on a train, and when she gets off she is in this small villiage she has never heard of before. Sam goes to the closest house to get directions, but somehow is mistaken for an interviewee for a housekeeping job. She is offered the job, and she takes it. The biggest problem is... she has NO clue about housework or cooking. I mean, seriously no clue. So she has to figure it out. In the meantime, Sam discovers what it is to have a life, and of course she falls in love.
I didn't find this chatacter as engaging as Becky (the Shopoholic), but I still loved her and felt for her. I could identify with her, too, as I'm not exactly a domestic goddess myself (you've all heard my cooking and baking stories, and many of you have seen the state of cleanliness I keep my house). I give this book my Official Sariah Stamp of Approval.
*****
I am currently reading Echoes by Maeve Binchey. It's one that is on my bookshelf, and I have read it several tmes already. It's been a little while, though, so it's the right time to read it again.
Dallin is currently really into Go Away Big Green Monster by Ed Emberly (Aiden got the book for Christmas from Santa because it was his favorite book to check out of the library in Nevada). Dallin really likes the "sharp white teeth" and getting to yell "Go away!"
*****
The word of the day is seriously. I say it's the word of the day because I have found myself using it a lot lately. Here is the official definition from dictionary.com:
*****
I'm sure that we all know I can't sew, right? I come by it honestly, growing up with a mother that very often, and very proudly, stated "Sew is not in my vocabulary!" I have tried to learn to sew. I had visions of making my own dresses for prom, doing my own alterations, making clothes for my kids someday, making pillows and quilts and stuffed animals and curtains and pot holders... whatever I could think of.
I seem to have some kind of sewing machine deficiency, however. If I have "adult supervision", I do just fine. Whenever I'm alone with a machine, however, problems happen. On every single machine I have ever tried to use. I break the needle. The tension is wrong and my fabric is puckering. The thread wraps around the bobbin casing. My fabric gets sucked into the machine as if it wants to join the bobbin.
I get frustrated and end up yelling at both the machine and myself. It's not a pretty sight.
Mr. Universe has had some clothes that he needed mending. I would laugh and say, "Put it in the mending box!" I would laugh because whenever my mom said that to us as we grew up, we knew we would never again see that article of clothing. They never got mended. (Well, if we had a hole in the knee of our jeans, we got patches. But they were iron-on patches, so I don't think that really counts!)
Mr. Universe has been asking me and asking me to mend his clothes. He wants to wear the two hoodies! Those are his favorite school pants! So on Monday I pulled out the sewing machine and said "I can do this."
After about 45 minutes of frustration and hitting the table and yelling (no swearing because I do have young children nearby. Although yes, I got in trouble from Aiden for saying "stupid" a lot), I did it. I conquered my sewing machine and was able to fix his clothes!! I feel like a rock star!!
Now, if I can just figure out how to get the stain out of his favorite dress shirt...
*****
Wednesday was Winter Guard rehearsal. I was meeting most of the kids for the first time. Things were going great. We had worked out a bit and done some yoga. We were about to start on some flag fundamentals, but I wanted to lay down some ground rules and talk about our schedule for the season. The kids were all sitting on the floor and I was in a chair (I felt like it was story time and I was going to read to them). Just as I started talking about stuff, I shifted my weight and... I farted. Not too loudly, but loud enough.
I. Was. So. Mortified. Seriously.
The kids all laughed (as did I) and kept saying it's no big deal, but I know my face went really, really red. What a way to make a first impression, huh? Oh well. We now consider ourselves quite bonded.
*****
Speaking of embarassing...
Yesterday I was chatting online with Lo and we were playing Literati. Just as she put up her "superstar" word, waft, I fell off my chair. Seriously. I just fell. I mean, I was shifting my weight again (I'm starting to think this is a bad thing for me to do!) when I lost my balance and there I went.
Mr. Universe came home just a few minutes later. I told him what happened, and he started to laugh. "Only you," he said. "Only you."
*****
I just finished reading The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella. (She wrote the Confessions of a Shopoholic books that I loved so much). This was another delightful story. Light reading, but not so light you feel like you're wasting your brain by reading it. Chick lit, yes, but I seem to be into that these days.
The story is about this young, high-powered, London lawyer named Samanatha who makes a mistake and essentially freaks out. She gets on a train, and when she gets off she is in this small villiage she has never heard of before. Sam goes to the closest house to get directions, but somehow is mistaken for an interviewee for a housekeeping job. She is offered the job, and she takes it. The biggest problem is... she has NO clue about housework or cooking. I mean, seriously no clue. So she has to figure it out. In the meantime, Sam discovers what it is to have a life, and of course she falls in love.
I didn't find this chatacter as engaging as Becky (the Shopoholic), but I still loved her and felt for her. I could identify with her, too, as I'm not exactly a domestic goddess myself (you've all heard my cooking and baking stories, and many of you have seen the state of cleanliness I keep my house). I give this book my Official Sariah Stamp of Approval.
*****
I am currently reading Echoes by Maeve Binchey. It's one that is on my bookshelf, and I have read it several tmes already. It's been a little while, though, so it's the right time to read it again.
Dallin is currently really into Go Away Big Green Monster by Ed Emberly (Aiden got the book for Christmas from Santa because it was his favorite book to check out of the library in Nevada). Dallin really likes the "sharp white teeth" and getting to yell "Go away!"
*****
The word of the day is seriously. I say it's the word of the day because I have found myself using it a lot lately. Here is the official definition from dictionary.com:
se·ri·ous·ly [seer-ee-uhs-lee] –adverb
1. in a serious manner: He shook his head seriously.
2. to an alarmingly grave extent: seriously ill.
3. with genuine, earnest intent; sincerely: Seriously, kids, we have to get home before dark.
Monday, January 15, 2007
First, Give Up That Daily Latte
Mr. Universe was given lots of great Christmas gifts from his students this year. He got cool Christmas ornaments, a homemade heating pad (you know, the kind you stick in the microwave? The mom even made a seperate, washable cover. Ches loves it!), gift cards to Barnes and Nobles, cookies and candy, hot chocolate, and a bajillion gift cards to Starbucks. The Starbuck cards are worth (all together, of course) more than $50.
Now, you all know we don't drink coffee. Not only is it against our religion, but neither Ches nor I even like the smell of the stuff. (It used to crack me up going to college in a largely LDS town and seeing all these Mormon kids standing in the coffee aisle of the supermarket just to smell the coffee. Funny kids.) I'm sure the gift cards for coffee would be great for most people, but not so much for Mr. Universe!
Thank goodness for hot chocolate. Starbucks has very yummy hot chocolate. And lots of yummy foods. VERY yummy. You can't go wrong getting some crumb cake or a cinnamon roll or a granola bar. It's almost like heaven!!
I also think it's nice that Mr. Universe has these cards because I know there is at least one Starbucks close to where he works, and if he needs a little snack or something before or after that long commute, he can use a card and get something.
Starbucks, however, is extremely overpriced! Oh. My. Gosh. No wonder whenever you are watching some Dr. Phil or Oprah like talk show and there is this nice couple that is trying their darndest to get out of debt, the first thing they are told is "make your coffee at home. Give up that daily latte." You see, let's say this is something we actually did. Let's say Ches stopped at Starbucks every morning on his way to school and bought himself a $3 drink. He would be spending around $90 a month... just for a quick pick-me-up!!! What if he decided on something else? Say a yummy and satisfying $5 hot drink. We're talking $150 that month!! OH MY HECK!! Now, of course not everyone works 7 days a week, so maybe we're aiming a little high, but how many people stop at just a drink? Not when it smells sooooo good and the breakfast sweets are looking sooooo bright and big and you find a little spot of drool on your collar... every now and then you are going to "splurge" and get yourself a piece of blueberry coffee cake for $3.50, right? Heck yes you are! And it tastes so good, why regret it, right?
Because $150 a month can pay off credit cards a lot faster than $45 or $80 a month. I always hated hearing the whole "Give up your daily latte" spiel because we don't buy a latte every day and I could never figure out what little thing like that we should give up that would add up. Because we DON'T go out and get a coffee every day. Or pizza and ice cream every week. Or see a movie in the theatre. Or even rent movies. Those activities have become such a rarity I don't think I can even count it as once a month!! Okay, maybe once a month or for special occasions (like the kids being sick the whole week before Christmas. So I rented a ton of movies just so we wouldn't be watching the same Wiggles DVD for 6 hours straight while they lay on the couch like their dying and whine about their noses and tummies hurting).
I'm still trying to figure out what my daily latte sacrifice is, but until then, Mr. Universe and I are going to enjoy using his gift cards for some really yummy hot chocolate.
Now, you all know we don't drink coffee. Not only is it against our religion, but neither Ches nor I even like the smell of the stuff. (It used to crack me up going to college in a largely LDS town and seeing all these Mormon kids standing in the coffee aisle of the supermarket just to smell the coffee. Funny kids.) I'm sure the gift cards for coffee would be great for most people, but not so much for Mr. Universe!
Thank goodness for hot chocolate. Starbucks has very yummy hot chocolate. And lots of yummy foods. VERY yummy. You can't go wrong getting some crumb cake or a cinnamon roll or a granola bar. It's almost like heaven!!
I also think it's nice that Mr. Universe has these cards because I know there is at least one Starbucks close to where he works, and if he needs a little snack or something before or after that long commute, he can use a card and get something.
Starbucks, however, is extremely overpriced! Oh. My. Gosh. No wonder whenever you are watching some Dr. Phil or Oprah like talk show and there is this nice couple that is trying their darndest to get out of debt, the first thing they are told is "make your coffee at home. Give up that daily latte." You see, let's say this is something we actually did. Let's say Ches stopped at Starbucks every morning on his way to school and bought himself a $3 drink. He would be spending around $90 a month... just for a quick pick-me-up!!! What if he decided on something else? Say a yummy and satisfying $5 hot drink. We're talking $150 that month!! OH MY HECK!! Now, of course not everyone works 7 days a week, so maybe we're aiming a little high, but how many people stop at just a drink? Not when it smells sooooo good and the breakfast sweets are looking sooooo bright and big and you find a little spot of drool on your collar... every now and then you are going to "splurge" and get yourself a piece of blueberry coffee cake for $3.50, right? Heck yes you are! And it tastes so good, why regret it, right?
Because $150 a month can pay off credit cards a lot faster than $45 or $80 a month. I always hated hearing the whole "Give up your daily latte" spiel because we don't buy a latte every day and I could never figure out what little thing like that we should give up that would add up. Because we DON'T go out and get a coffee every day. Or pizza and ice cream every week. Or see a movie in the theatre. Or even rent movies. Those activities have become such a rarity I don't think I can even count it as once a month!! Okay, maybe once a month or for special occasions (like the kids being sick the whole week before Christmas. So I rented a ton of movies just so we wouldn't be watching the same Wiggles DVD for 6 hours straight while they lay on the couch like their dying and whine about their noses and tummies hurting).
I'm still trying to figure out what my daily latte sacrifice is, but until then, Mr. Universe and I are going to enjoy using his gift cards for some really yummy hot chocolate.
Let's Talk About Sex
Don't worry, everyone. I'm not going to talk about anything graphic. I just have some things I've been thinking about that I would like some opnions on because I'm curious about what others think.
How many of you watch "Desperate Housewives"? I don't think most of you do. I love the show. It cracks me up most of the time. Anyway, there is a little story line going on right now about the daughter of one of the "housewives". The daughter, Julie, has started dating the resident Bad Boy (I'll call him BB because I can't remember the character's actual name). Being teenagers, they are "in love" and making out a lot, and of course he is pressuring her to have sex. In the last episode, she was saying "No, I don't think I'm ready yet" and he was saying to her "That's fine, but you can't blame me for trying" and stuff like that.
Julie then goes to her friend (can't remember her name, either, so we'll call her Neighbor Girl, or NG) and is talking about this dilemna. Neighbor Girl says if you aren't ready, don't do it (and she says she should know because basically she is a slut and she knows that, too). Julie is a little worried about the pressure, and Neighbor Girl's brother walks in and interjects with the whole idea that if Bad Boy isn't getting sex from Julie, he's getting it from somewhere else. Julie insists that BB is a "gentleman", and NG insists that not all guys are that bad, but the brother insists that it's just the way guys are.
Julie worries some more and decides to have sex with Bad Boy. The end of the episode shows us that BB is indeed sleeping with someone else... you see him in bed with a girl (can't see her face yet) and he says, "I don't think we should be doing this anymore." Of course, who sits up? Neighbor Girl. She replies, "Just because Julie slept with you doesn't mean we can't keep having fun."
Yes, we all know NG is a slut. That isn't the point of all this.
In tonight's episode, there is a whole ordeal with Julie and Bad Boy about birth control and how they are "in love" and want to be responsible. Julie's mom (Susan) finds Julie's pack of birth control pills, freaks out, finds out that Bad Boy's aunt (Edie) is the one who helped Julie get them, and confronts Edie. As Susan and Edie are arguing and walk into Edie's house, who do they find going at it on the couch? Bad Boy and Neighbor Girl. At the end of the episode Susan breaks the news to Julie, who is of course heartbroken. It's her first love, you know. Who can blame her?
Anyway... this is what I'm wondering about:
Are guys (especially sexually active guys) really that shallow? Or is it just a few of them? I know that most of us are married to guys that were either not sexually active until we married them, or I don't think they were that kind of scum to sleep with two girls at the same time. But I wonder about a lot of these guys.
I wonder because I remember being in high school, dating a guy who did not share the same set of standards that I did. I really liked this guy a LOT (okay, I admit it... it was my first love, but I was 17. What did I know about love back then??). Yes, the guy was Jerk Faced Liar. Jerk Faced Liar had been sexually active before we dated, and I knew that. I made it clear that I was not willing to have sex until I married. In the time that we dated, the pressure to have sex grew and grew.
(Side note to Mom... if you are reading this, and I'm sure you are... I know that you know that pressure was there, so you don't have to talk about it, okay? I also know you were scared to death for what I may or may not have been doing because I remember the night I came in after a date and woke you up. I was sobbing and couldn't talk and you were trying to comfort me and saying things like "It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay." and it dawned on me "Oh my gosh, my mom thinks I'm pregnant!" and when I told you why I was crying, I could see the complete relief on your face!!)
I sometimes wondered this when I was dating Jerk Faced Liar, but I was blinded by how much I cared for him and didn't think it would be possible. Every now and then the thought came into my head that after another date and another time of no sex, did he go to someone else after taking me home? Was he getting sex from someone else? It was never more than a fleeting thought at the time, and was NEVER anything to make me think I had to sleep with him to keep him, but the thought did cross my mind a few times.
In the years after we broke up, Jerk Faced Liar admitted lying to me about several things while we were dating... the two biggest things being that he never believed in my church and only joined to make me happy (you wouldn't believe the discussions we had about how important it was to both of us to not change religion for someone else, but for our individual self only) and that he had never actually quit smoking when we had this big bet going on about it and I "lost" the bet when he didn't smoke (turns out he smoked whenever I wasn't around and would try to cover it up... all our friends knew but me. Boy, do I still feel like such an idiot for trusting him!!).
After Jerk Faced Liar admitted these things to me, I started to wonder again whether or not he "cheated" while we were dating, but I never asked. I'm not in contact with him now, and I'm not about to get in contact with him (yes, I do know how to find him if I need to) just to have this question answered.
Do I really want to know the answer? If the answer is yes, he did cheat, then what does that accomplish? More hurt and pain for me. I would feel stupid all over again for trusting someone like that. I would hate myself all over again for even dating someone that I KNEW didn't share my beliefs and values, no matter how many interests we shared. If the answer is no, will that change my opinion on Jerk Faced Liar and how he treated me? Not hardly. He still lied about so many other things and treated me horribly after we broke up (he kissed a so-called friend the DAY AFTER we broke up! And we only broke up to make it "official" or something because I was leaving to go to college 2000 miles away 2 weeks later!! He was still kissing me! Anyway...)
I talked about it a little with Mr. Universe. I asked his opinion: Are guys really like that? He said he doesn't think so, but then again maybe there are a bunch out there that do think that way because the "world" says casual sex is okay. To us, sex is sacred and special, and I don't want to have sex with anyone else... ever. Just him. I don't want him to have sex with anyone else but me. I can't even THINK about if one of us has shared that experience with someone other than each other because it is such a special thing, and I don't like that so many people treat sex as such a casual thing. It should be special! Not just something fun to do. Not just something that feels good at the time. Casual sex just cheapens what I have with my husband.
My opinion, of course. (And it's what I tell my "girls" when they start talking about sex and want my opinion about stuff. Heh)
So basically, I want to know your opinion... other than those "straight-arrow" kind of guys (you know, the LDS returned missionaries and such, for the most part), are guys just really that needy for sex that they would jeopardize a great relationship with one girl that he shares interests and love but not sex just to satisfy his so-called needs with another girl (friend or otherwise)?
Like I said, it's not something that I HAVE to know about in my own past, but I am curious as to what is really out there. Am I in such a bubble or that naive to think that most guys really are going to be "gentlemen" and listen when their girlfriend says "No, I'm not ready for that kind of a relationship"???
How many of you watch "Desperate Housewives"? I don't think most of you do. I love the show. It cracks me up most of the time. Anyway, there is a little story line going on right now about the daughter of one of the "housewives". The daughter, Julie, has started dating the resident Bad Boy (I'll call him BB because I can't remember the character's actual name). Being teenagers, they are "in love" and making out a lot, and of course he is pressuring her to have sex. In the last episode, she was saying "No, I don't think I'm ready yet" and he was saying to her "That's fine, but you can't blame me for trying" and stuff like that.
Julie then goes to her friend (can't remember her name, either, so we'll call her Neighbor Girl, or NG) and is talking about this dilemna. Neighbor Girl says if you aren't ready, don't do it (and she says she should know because basically she is a slut and she knows that, too). Julie is a little worried about the pressure, and Neighbor Girl's brother walks in and interjects with the whole idea that if Bad Boy isn't getting sex from Julie, he's getting it from somewhere else. Julie insists that BB is a "gentleman", and NG insists that not all guys are that bad, but the brother insists that it's just the way guys are.
Julie worries some more and decides to have sex with Bad Boy. The end of the episode shows us that BB is indeed sleeping with someone else... you see him in bed with a girl (can't see her face yet) and he says, "I don't think we should be doing this anymore." Of course, who sits up? Neighbor Girl. She replies, "Just because Julie slept with you doesn't mean we can't keep having fun."
Yes, we all know NG is a slut. That isn't the point of all this.
In tonight's episode, there is a whole ordeal with Julie and Bad Boy about birth control and how they are "in love" and want to be responsible. Julie's mom (Susan) finds Julie's pack of birth control pills, freaks out, finds out that Bad Boy's aunt (Edie) is the one who helped Julie get them, and confronts Edie. As Susan and Edie are arguing and walk into Edie's house, who do they find going at it on the couch? Bad Boy and Neighbor Girl. At the end of the episode Susan breaks the news to Julie, who is of course heartbroken. It's her first love, you know. Who can blame her?
Anyway... this is what I'm wondering about:
Are guys (especially sexually active guys) really that shallow? Or is it just a few of them? I know that most of us are married to guys that were either not sexually active until we married them, or I don't think they were that kind of scum to sleep with two girls at the same time. But I wonder about a lot of these guys.
I wonder because I remember being in high school, dating a guy who did not share the same set of standards that I did. I really liked this guy a LOT (okay, I admit it... it was my first love, but I was 17. What did I know about love back then??). Yes, the guy was Jerk Faced Liar. Jerk Faced Liar had been sexually active before we dated, and I knew that. I made it clear that I was not willing to have sex until I married. In the time that we dated, the pressure to have sex grew and grew.
(Side note to Mom... if you are reading this, and I'm sure you are... I know that you know that pressure was there, so you don't have to talk about it, okay? I also know you were scared to death for what I may or may not have been doing because I remember the night I came in after a date and woke you up. I was sobbing and couldn't talk and you were trying to comfort me and saying things like "It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay." and it dawned on me "Oh my gosh, my mom thinks I'm pregnant!" and when I told you why I was crying, I could see the complete relief on your face!!)
I sometimes wondered this when I was dating Jerk Faced Liar, but I was blinded by how much I cared for him and didn't think it would be possible. Every now and then the thought came into my head that after another date and another time of no sex, did he go to someone else after taking me home? Was he getting sex from someone else? It was never more than a fleeting thought at the time, and was NEVER anything to make me think I had to sleep with him to keep him, but the thought did cross my mind a few times.
In the years after we broke up, Jerk Faced Liar admitted lying to me about several things while we were dating... the two biggest things being that he never believed in my church and only joined to make me happy (you wouldn't believe the discussions we had about how important it was to both of us to not change religion for someone else, but for our individual self only) and that he had never actually quit smoking when we had this big bet going on about it and I "lost" the bet when he didn't smoke (turns out he smoked whenever I wasn't around and would try to cover it up... all our friends knew but me. Boy, do I still feel like such an idiot for trusting him!!).
After Jerk Faced Liar admitted these things to me, I started to wonder again whether or not he "cheated" while we were dating, but I never asked. I'm not in contact with him now, and I'm not about to get in contact with him (yes, I do know how to find him if I need to) just to have this question answered.
Do I really want to know the answer? If the answer is yes, he did cheat, then what does that accomplish? More hurt and pain for me. I would feel stupid all over again for trusting someone like that. I would hate myself all over again for even dating someone that I KNEW didn't share my beliefs and values, no matter how many interests we shared. If the answer is no, will that change my opinion on Jerk Faced Liar and how he treated me? Not hardly. He still lied about so many other things and treated me horribly after we broke up (he kissed a so-called friend the DAY AFTER we broke up! And we only broke up to make it "official" or something because I was leaving to go to college 2000 miles away 2 weeks later!! He was still kissing me! Anyway...)
I talked about it a little with Mr. Universe. I asked his opinion: Are guys really like that? He said he doesn't think so, but then again maybe there are a bunch out there that do think that way because the "world" says casual sex is okay. To us, sex is sacred and special, and I don't want to have sex with anyone else... ever. Just him. I don't want him to have sex with anyone else but me. I can't even THINK about if one of us has shared that experience with someone other than each other because it is such a special thing, and I don't like that so many people treat sex as such a casual thing. It should be special! Not just something fun to do. Not just something that feels good at the time. Casual sex just cheapens what I have with my husband.
My opinion, of course. (And it's what I tell my "girls" when they start talking about sex and want my opinion about stuff. Heh)
So basically, I want to know your opinion... other than those "straight-arrow" kind of guys (you know, the LDS returned missionaries and such, for the most part), are guys just really that needy for sex that they would jeopardize a great relationship with one girl that he shares interests and love but not sex just to satisfy his so-called needs with another girl (friend or otherwise)?
Like I said, it's not something that I HAVE to know about in my own past, but I am curious as to what is really out there. Am I in such a bubble or that naive to think that most guys really are going to be "gentlemen" and listen when their girlfriend says "No, I'm not ready for that kind of a relationship"???
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