Close To Home

An incident was reported on last night's news broadcast that an 8th grade student had written a "hit list" of other students' names on his notebook. These were students who had bullied the 8th grader. Also on his notebook was written a list of some students and teachers who would be spared because they had been nive to them. This incident happened last Friday, and it happened at the middle school that Mr. Universe teaches at.

Mr. Universe expressed surprise that it was reported on teh news because he didn't see it as a big deal. No one seems to believe the student would actually do anything. The student was suspended, and the principal has talked to the students involved (which included two of Mr. Universe's students) and to the parents. The principal was shown on TV to say that he is keeping an open mind in judgement on this, so this student may be allowed back in school. Mr. Universe said he doesn't know this kid, but he did hear about the incident on Friday.

I just about freaked out. As I'm watching this TV report and realizing where exactly this happened, I start to have a panic attack. Mr. Universe kept saying it's no big deal and not to worry about anything. The only thing that kept me from having a full-blown panic attack was that I was starting to get angry at Mr. Universe for not realizing that it was a big deal to me.

You see, I still vividly remember that day in April several years ago when I was home early from class. I flipped on the TV, and there were all these reports... on every station... images of kids in lines running out of a school with their hands on their heads... so many kids crying... kids and parents on cell phones...police cars with lights flashing... adults in full riot gear...

I think we all know what I'm refering to. Columbine. I was still a newlywed, and for the first time I really started to feel mortal. Worst of all, I realized my husband was mortal. We were both studying to become teachers, but we hoped to have a family one day. Once we had children, we both wanted me to stay home and be the full-time caretaker. Mr. Universe would be teaching.

I was horrified at what I was seeing on my television screen. How could two kids do this? How could they kill their fellow students? No matter how angry I was at other students for picking on me or my friends, it never occured to me that this kind of violence was an option. I believe most of us feel this way.

I called my mom. "Have you seen what's on TV?" I cried into the phone. My mother is a teacher. I wondered if she was ever afraid of students like this. Mom tried to calm me a bit, and that when I said to her what has stuck in my mind since that day.

Someday, some student may be depressed and angry, and that student is going to come to school with guns and bombs and who knows what else. That students isn't going to care what happens to anyone else, and my husband could be a teacher at that school, and my husband could get shot. I will never see my husband alive again because some kid is having a bad day.

I know that it is a silly, irrational fear, but a fear it is. When this incident happened on Friday, all those fears from 1999 came back. It hit just too close to home this time. I don't know if this student really would do anything. I'm sure many of us have made at least a mental hit list at one time or another, but would never act on such thoughts. It could be true of this student. He may just need some professional counseling and maybe some anger management courses. I don't know. This particular incident really may be just nothing. But it still scares me.

Joke of the Day

What is the difference between a large pizza with everything on it and a high school band director?




A large pizza really can feed a family of four.

I've Said It Before...

And I'll say it again...

I have the best husband ever. Seriously.

I had to change Parker's diaper at 2 am, and that is when I discovered that we were out of diapers. I searched the house high and low (and without waking up another person!!) for a pack of diapers I could have sworn I had, but apparantly did not. I finally went to the diaper bag to steal one from there... and there was only one left. I changed Parker, hoping against hope that he could make it until morning and I could run to the store and get more diapers.

About 4 am, in the middle of feeding Parker, I heard that horrible sound coming form his bum, smelled that horrible smell, and knew I had to find another diaper. You know when your child has outgrown one size of diapers and you move them up to the next size, but forget to use up the one or two diapers buried in the bottom of the diaper bag? Well, I found a stack of diapers of various sizes, but there were no Newborn sizes. I found two Size 2 diapers, and one that wasn't labeled, but looked a little smaller than the 2s, so I thought perhaps this is a Size 1, and since that's just up from the Newborn size, I'll try it.

After I changed Parker into his way too big but clean and odor free diaper, I found my Post-it notes, wrote a message to Ches, and left it on the bathroom mirror for him to see when he got up an hour later. It read, "We are totally out of diapers for Parker. Please wake me up so I can run to the store for some more (after your shower, that is)."

A little after 6 am I awoke to the sound of the door to the carport opening. A minute later, there was Ches, handing me a pack of diapers, and saying, "I'll see you after school."

He wouldn't wake me to get the diapers because he knew I had been up several times during the night. Instead of waking me, he hurried through his shower and went to the store. He didn't get to spend time eating breakfast and making a lunch and getting ready for his school day because he wanted to let me sleep. While at the store, Ches bought some Pop Tarts so he could eat in the car on the way to school.

I love my husband. He lets me sleep.

Love Thursday

I just had to add a photo for this Love Thursday thing that everyone seems to be doing. I don't know about the link thing, so I'm just putting up the photo.

This is Mr. Universe and our first little star in December, 2004. Aiden wants to be just like his dad so much of the time, so when Ches was practicing his trumpet at home over Christmas break, Aiden found the trumpet ornament for the tree (that we typically use instead of a star or angel on the top) and had to play along. Ches was doing scales and arpeggios and such, and Aiden would just sing along. I love my trumpet players, and they sure love each other!!