Aiden likes to say when it is windy and cold outside that it is "blustery, like on Winnie the Pooh." Today is a blustery day. It started out so beautiful... the sun was shining, it was quite warm (I didn't even really need my jacket on that I was wearing), there was virtually no wind or even a slight breeze... it felt like spring may actually arrive.
Now the sky has turned gray and I see the branches on the trees waving madly. I know it's gotten colder and I am considering turning the heater on a little.
You may think this depresses me, but you are quite wrong. I love the dark days. I love bright, warm days, but I don't always feel like having a day like that. Today I was in a wonderful mood and so the sun shining fit my mood exactly. Now... my mood has changed. I'm not mad or anything. I'm just... I don't know... lonely.
It all started with a phone call I had to make. I called someone who means something to me to straighten out a missing package (turns out she wrote my old addresses on the box, not the new one, so hopefully she'll get it back soon then will send it out again with the correct address). Normally this person is very hard for me to get a hold of, so I don't bother to call her much anymore. She rarely calls me, so we just don't talk anymore. After we discussed the package (for the whole 3 minutes it took for her to look up the tracking on the computer), she just said, "I'll call you when I get the box back." I replied with, "Okay, that sounds good."
There was a pause. "Well," she said, "bye."
That was it. There was no other conversation. There was no "I wish I could talk right now, but I'm on my way out the door" or whatever. Just... "bye."
It's silly, I know, but it makes me feel lonely. I am a social person. I need people to talk to. For her to just leave me like that... does she not like me anymore? Did I do something? Maybe she just doesn't find me interesting. I don't know. I feel lonely without Ches here, talking to me. I feel lonely when I have no one to goof off with. My kids are great, but I need my own friends, too.
Today's weather makes me feel good because it matches my mood. And, like the weather, my mood will change again. I won't feel so left out and depressed, and I won't give this phone call another thought. And when it's sunny, warm, and inviting outside, I'll probably open the door to the porch to let in the fresh air, start baking some cookies, and give you a call, just to say hi and see what's up. That's what I do.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Sounds like a plan, only I know it's not me you'll be calling. But that's okay. I'd probably end up being a depressing phone call, too. ;-)
What happened??? I was expecting your story about the boys. That was a fairly early call. Before or after the other? I'm sorry if I wasn't keyed to your mood. The "Some pounding on my door" turned out to be a sister Dad HT's and to whom he'd loaned his car for a couple weeks. She got a car the other day, and she came[along with her adult son] to drop off car, and key--she was worried, not knowing what to do with the key if I weren't at home. By the time she left...well, honestly I didn't do a whole lot today, so should have called you back. But I did talk to Grandma Jan...it was her b'day today. Now there's someone you could call. She's very lonely and she doesn't get out much any more.
Now...tell the world about my oh so cute grandsons.:D
It's interesting how our mood can change during the day. It sounds like your day matched my entire weekend, plus yesterday.
I agree with GoofyJ, sometimes when you make a call with a specific task at hand thats all the phone call is. Maybe she was thinking the same thing on the other end of the line. "I don't really want to end this conversation but she did call about the package..."
I hope your mood improves.
and then I dog you on the phone to take a nap! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
I totally understand the lonely thing. The past couple of days and have bawled and bawled at times because I'm lonely, I miss Idaho and A is screaming at me!
What it all boils down to is that we need to be together!!
Hope to talk to you soon!
sounds like she might have had more going on than she could even think to express. maybe not.
obviously, you know her, and i don't. but i know that's what happens to me... i get so caught up in... STUFF... that i can't even intelligently explain why i can't talk, or why i'm absent, etc...
maybe that's her too?
i'm sorry people do that. me included. sigh.
Post a Comment