I Am SOOOOO Smart

I have these really great memories growing up of the cool things my mom would make us kids do. I say make, because honestly, how many kids do you know actually wants to go places like the Oil and Brine Museum in Smackover, Arkansas? (Nope, I will never forgive you for that one, Mom!) Most of the time, we got to do really cool things... we went to cool museums (although Mom always read EVERY word of EVERY display. That can get annoying!), we went to historical sites (even just stopping at the stupid roadsigns on the side of a highway), toured old houses, and we've even been to a battlefield or two. My mom was always all about education and exposure to many different kinds of cultural events. I've been to just about every kind of concert there is (except a rock concert), plays and musicals, Indian pow-wows, air shows, art shows, multicultural fairs, Renaissance faires... and so much more. I have to say, my mom (though embarrassing) is the coolest mom ever.

One of my favorite memories is from the third grade. My mom was a single mother, going to school to get degrees in English and theatre. She was attending a college about 2 hours away (if I remember correctly, which I probably don't), and if she wanted to attend something on campus, it was a pretty big deal to get to an event.

One day, Mom took me with her to class because she wanted to take me to a play that evening on campus. The class we attended was a literature class, and I believe it held mainly freshman or underclassmen. Mom talked to the professor ahead of time to make sure it'd be okay to bring me to class. He was a bit apprehensive at a young child attending a "boring" college class, but Mom explained that I was very well behaved, and would probably just sit and read a book the whole time. Oh, and my favorite book that year was Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn, which they happened to be studying for that particular class. The professor allowed me to come.

I remember just before class my mom and I eating sandwiches from a vending machine. I thought that was the coolest thing ever (I must have been way too young to realize how disgusting they really are!). When class began, I sat in the desk next to Mom (in the front row, of course), and started to read my book (Ramona Quimby, Age 8 by Beverly Cleary. Still a favorite of mine today). Partway through the class, the professor was getting frustrated with the students because they just weren't answering the questions right or something. I don't know, as I was busy reading my own book.

Suddenly, I remember the professor saying, "Come one! This is so easy! I'm sure this little girl knows the answer to the question!" My mom nudged me in the side, and I was a little confused. "Huh?" I asked.

The professor repeated the question (of which I don't remember now), and I promptly answered, then went back to my book as the professor yelled, "Yes! Exactly!" It was fun to be so smart back then. I thought I was pretty special being able to outsmart a bunch of college kids!

After class, my mom and I headed to the theatre to see the play: Threepenny Opera. The only thing I really remember from the play was the song "Mack the Knife" (and it was not long after that that McDonald's actually rewrote the song for their own commercials. It was a giant half-moon headed guy, and he sang "It's Mack to-niiiiiiight!!").

The other thing I remember is this scene with someone in jail, and his pregnant girlfriend came to visit him. She sang some song and did this elaborate dance number. I leaned to over to my mom and whispered, "She's not really pregnant. If she was, she wouldn't be able to do that!" I was an "expert" on the subject as my third-grade teacher was very pregnant at the time, and she couldn't do much but sit with her feet up on a chair and let us give her shoulder rubs as she read to us. My mom kind of chuckled at the comment, and we went on to watch the rest of the play.

Afterwards, we went backstage and Mom introduced me to several of her friends who were cast members, including the pregnant girlfriend. Mom told her of my comment during the play, and the girl laughed and said, "No, I'm definitely not pregnant. It's just a pillow, see?" She showed me this round pillow with ribbons on the ends to tie around her waist, then lifted her shirt a little to show me her very flat stomach.

Again, I felt soooo smart! I knew the difference between a pregnant woman and a woman pretending to be pregnant!

I also have such good memories of that little excursion with my mom because it was just Mom and me. I had so much fun, and Mom always made me feel special by doing things with just me. She did that with all my siblings... found things to do with each person individually. Like I said, my mom is the coolest mom ever.

Thanks, Mom.